dan in real life made me cry. it wasn't at all what i was expecting. it wasn't about a single dad trying vainly to protect his teenage daughter from adolescent male wiles. it was a heartwrenching look into star-cross'd lovers positioned against the backdrop of a touching family portrait.
end quote: i miss my mom. oh God, so. much. it rips me up inside tears a seam right down my middle. and it will never go away which is a wondrous and excruciating thing.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
today
next day:12 avril
i remember the dream i had 2 nights ago
semi-lucid
where i would look at something and my arms would turn that colour/pattern. like camouflage. like a squid. i remember that turning them green was the hardest, because it was the least-closest to my natural skin colour. it took more concentration. i remember i could even get my skin to turn purple with white polka dots! i'm not sure if my entire body turned that colour, or just my arms because they're all i could see. was a cool feeling that has stuck with me!
i remember the dream i had 2 nights ago
semi-lucid
where i would look at something and my arms would turn that colour/pattern. like camouflage. like a squid. i remember that turning them green was the hardest, because it was the least-closest to my natural skin colour. it took more concentration. i remember i could even get my skin to turn purple with white polka dots! i'm not sure if my entire body turned that colour, or just my arms because they're all i could see. was a cool feeling that has stuck with me!
april 11 2008
I am on round two of reducing my a/d meds. Gone now from 1 full tablet daily to just over 3/4. It's day, like, 6 or something. A few more to go before I'm down to 3/4 solid. Am feeling it indeed, testy little meds! Got a cold from Drew on Saturday so that distracted me for the most part. But managed to run 6k last night at Seashore [Rocky Pt] Park! Felt kinda like I had overextended myself afterward. I'm hoping I can make it through the 19th after the Sun Run, and that the following Monday I'll be okay as that's the day I start volunteering at the elementary school! :D :O (excited and scared)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
aw geeze
vaccuumed the main floor. joey had tidied up beforehand. fargo was on. watched it.put all the laundry that was on this main floor into the orange bucket and put it in front of the washer. a christmas plant pot metal fell down and then through the stairs.
Monday, March 17, 2008
today i:
- was supposed to run for a total of 60 minutes, but didn't run one minute. bloody errands and family dinner! heh :p
- cleaned the downstairs bathroom to make it company-ready (mister dad hazel and mister brother hazel).
- mopped up some dogpee with bleachwater
- super clean kitchen counters and sink and floor!! goooooooo heather!
- um, cleaned off that white thing (used-to-be-aquarium holder) in the hallway
- OOH YAH this was the great one: watered my houseplants (minus the hanging one, it didn't need watering) with FERTILIZED WATER! that sounds gross.
tomorrow it's back to work, early-pearly.
i only got 23pts total in boggle tonight.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
i made dinner tonight just so i could make dessert
see, i'm, er, test-driving the president's choice apple crisp :P and the verdict is: mine (per Rose recipe) is better! but i may have to take another stab at it, so to speak. or at least, the ice cream.
just wanted to record that today i:
just wanted to record that today i:
- did one load of laundry (incl folding and putting away)
- swept the floor
- vacuumed the living room
- unloaded the clean dishwasher
- put away all dirty dishes into the dishwasher once i was done with them
- swept the front porch, including de-cobwebbing the bike trailer/chairs/etc out there
Sunday, March 9, 2008
the hour is: 5 and twenty-seven parts, post-midday(?)
well Drew woke up shortly after I published that last post. So I read with him for awhile, and made him a peanut butter sandwich. Then I headed out to the store, where it was v difficult to shop for the 'week''s meals on "no more than $80". that took FO EV AH.
then I came home, all sleepy. meanwhile marty called me saying we're headed to matt's after dinner. i say, WHEN WILL WE RUN and he's all RIGHT NOW and i'm all BUT LASAGNE and he's all IM A PLAYIN OUTSIDE WITH DREW
then i came home, unpacked groceries, and began to prepare dinner. i sliced my left thumb while doing the same to the mushrooms. he's still outside w Drew and i'm enjoying this sitting down part!
oops, stove's a-beepin' gotta run.
then I came home, all sleepy. meanwhile marty called me saying we're headed to matt's after dinner. i say, WHEN WILL WE RUN and he's all RIGHT NOW and i'm all BUT LASAGNE and he's all IM A PLAYIN OUTSIDE WITH DREW
then i came home, unpacked groceries, and began to prepare dinner. i sliced my left thumb while doing the same to the mushrooms. he's still outside w Drew and i'm enjoying this sitting down part!
oops, stove's a-beepin' gotta run.
update: two pm adjusted (1pm 'really')
- ran the dishwasher
- packed up Drew's bottles (nipples --> garbage)
- started a load of laundry
- Drew is either singing or whining upstairs
- I need to re-pot my one hanging plant
Spring Cleaning
Another annual event I've my heart set on: Spring Cleaning. Yep, of the whole house. I've sort of started, in that I've cleaned off my craft table upstairs in order to make the wedding invitations (haven't started yet, though). Also, last night Marty "and I" rearranged the living room furniture somewhat, creating a cozy little reading nook where I finished the library book I borrowed in early 2005 (Field Notes on the Compassionate Life). I'll return it, and I'm sure I also owe them mad $tax :P
Today we went to IKEA and got a lamp. For upstairs, as Marty snagged that one to bring down for Our New Nook. Also picked up some fitted sheets for Drew's bed, and applied (and was subsequently denied) for an IKEA credit card. Perhaps if Marty had been the main applicant... Oh well.
Now Drew and Marty are napping upstairs, and I'm drinking my coffee while I bide my time until the little one is fast asleep and I can begin making my kitchen racket. About.com has wonderful lists and schedules for spring cleaning all rooms of your house, and for once, it isn't motivation I lack, but time.
Today we went to IKEA and got a lamp. For upstairs, as Marty snagged that one to bring down for Our New Nook. Also picked up some fitted sheets for Drew's bed, and applied (and was subsequently denied) for an IKEA credit card. Perhaps if Marty had been the main applicant... Oh well.
Now Drew and Marty are napping upstairs, and I'm drinking my coffee while I bide my time until the little one is fast asleep and I can begin making my kitchen racket. About.com has wonderful lists and schedules for spring cleaning all rooms of your house, and for once, it isn't motivation I lack, but time.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
this spine brought to you by coca-cola
i must say, i'm feeling fewer side-effects than i thought from my sun-run-training jog last night! my lungs feel sensitive, front to back (ie. just before you get a cold), but they felt like that on/off during the week. my right hip isn't as sore as it was during the run last night. and my legs, i can move them!! hooray! car-accident-shoulder is doing good, too!
and i do admit that was the first training session i completed to... completion.
tomorrow marks 6 weeks until the Sun Run... DUN DUN DUN!!
and i do admit that was the first training session i completed to... completion.
tomorrow marks 6 weeks until the Sun Run... DUN DUN DUN!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
pop goes the world
my problems are dwarfed today
grampa george died, they think of a heart attack :(
poor grandma neil, poor dad. poor barnes'. and i just got some email forwards from him at like 3sth am! :(
my 'problems' being, didn't eat great today (megabite dinner, leftover meat&potatos lunch, white bread jam breakfast with instant peaches&cream oatmeal.. ugh). didn't go walking at lunch - was sitting in a fog in the breakroom. stupid work issues. didn't get to store cuz was late coming home.
am proud of myself though, for following thru with my housework list: vaccuumed downstairs, stocked tp in bathrooms, cleaned downstairs bathroom. and spent some quality time (though less in quantity than i would have preferred) snuggling Drew, who is currently a-slumber in his new Big Boy Bed hehe.
so that's what's on my mind tonight. adieu.
grampa george died, they think of a heart attack :(
poor grandma neil, poor dad. poor barnes'. and i just got some email forwards from him at like 3sth am! :(
my 'problems' being, didn't eat great today (megabite dinner, leftover meat&potatos lunch, white bread jam breakfast with instant peaches&cream oatmeal.. ugh). didn't go walking at lunch - was sitting in a fog in the breakroom. stupid work issues. didn't get to store cuz was late coming home.
am proud of myself though, for following thru with my housework list: vaccuumed downstairs, stocked tp in bathrooms, cleaned downstairs bathroom. and spent some quality time (though less in quantity than i would have preferred) snuggling Drew, who is currently a-slumber in his new Big Boy Bed hehe.
so that's what's on my mind tonight. adieu.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
explaining
Yesterday was a snow day, so I was home. Marty made it in to work, so it was just Drew and I (and periods of Joe). Well, after the weekend, I spent the day yesterday cleaning, baking, organizing, and playing with Drew. I ran out of ideas. Then I put him to bed. Then I was bored, and had read through ALL of BBC (well..) and caught up on ALL of FB. All my regular blogs were read.
So I clicked on some new ones (vie Bloggies nominations). Ooh, Canadian content! Ooh, a smart mommy blogger in a small town! Ooh, what's this link on the left... And so I read her sad story. And began crying. And cried. And cried. And went up to bed. And cried. And cried. And stole Drew out of his room, brought him into bed with me, and cried. And cried (while he slept). And cried. And caught my breath. And cried some more. Caught my breath again. And cried more.
At some point, I must have fallen asleep =p I was surprised to see Marty in bed with us this morning, though (I was zonked!).
Anyway. I am certainly no worse for having read that sad story, in fact, I am likely better (opener-minded) as a result.
But I still want to go lay down in my car and sleep. My face requests it!
So I clicked on some new ones (vie Bloggies nominations). Ooh, Canadian content! Ooh, a smart mommy blogger in a small town! Ooh, what's this link on the left... And so I read her sad story. And began crying. And cried. And cried. And went up to bed. And cried. And cried. And stole Drew out of his room, brought him into bed with me, and cried. And cried (while he slept). And cried. And caught my breath. And cried some more. Caught my breath again. And cried more.
At some point, I must have fallen asleep =p I was surprised to see Marty in bed with us this morning, though (I was zonked!).
Anyway. I am certainly no worse for having read that sad story, in fact, I am likely better (opener-minded) as a result.
But I still want to go lay down in my car and sleep. My face requests it!
breathe, breathe, breathe
grinding my teeth
today: 18 messages
non-stop phonecalls
charts not up to date
no eyeshadow (puffy post-cry eyelids) (see other post)
coworkers barging in / asking questions
needy pts with sense of entitlement
it feels so much like a tuesday and i am THIS CLOSE to screaming!!!
and/or quitting, putting school plans on hold until my kid(s) is/are in school, and just staying home, dealing with the particular stresses of housekeeping and family-rearing (which are mighty in their own regard, of course).
does not help! that i read a mom's story last night that led to me snatching Drew out of his room so i could bawl next to him (while he slept) in bed. i know 1/2ativan is contributing to this sleepiness but care not i. my car is STILL appealing to lay in, being parked down under with the cozy and the dark and (almost) warm.
breathe in... ... and out. perhaps i can begin to calm now.
let us hope those are not famous last words.
today: 18 messages
non-stop phonecalls
charts not up to date
no eyeshadow (puffy post-cry eyelids) (see other post)
coworkers barging in / asking questions
needy pts with sense of entitlement
it feels so much like a tuesday and i am THIS CLOSE to screaming!!!
and/or quitting, putting school plans on hold until my kid(s) is/are in school, and just staying home, dealing with the particular stresses of housekeeping and family-rearing (which are mighty in their own regard, of course).
does not help! that i read a mom's story last night that led to me snatching Drew out of his room so i could bawl next to him (while he slept) in bed. i know 1/2ativan is contributing to this sleepiness but care not i. my car is STILL appealing to lay in, being parked down under with the cozy and the dark and (almost) warm.
breathe in... ... and out. perhaps i can begin to calm now.
let us hope those are not famous last words.
Friday, January 25, 2008
avoiding FF for the time being...
it's like teasing. ?
i can hear music.. and another family!!... on the baby monitor??!
maybe it's joe and his 'house'.
tell me about your day, oh, well, i wasn't superstastic on the 'challenge' today. no gym. not enuf h2ozzy. nutella for breaky. too much pazzzta for lonche. big fat bowl of big fat granola for 'after-dinner'.
but, for lack of trying. that's certainly something to say. work tomorrow, hm, do something after. you're welcome for this awesome pozzzt.
i can hear music.. and another family!!... on the baby monitor??!
maybe it's joe and his 'house'.
tell me about your day, oh, well, i wasn't superstastic on the 'challenge' today. no gym. not enuf h2ozzy. nutella for breaky. too much pazzzta for lonche. big fat bowl of big fat granola for 'after-dinner'.
but, for lack of trying. that's certainly something to say. work tomorrow, hm, do something after. you're welcome for this awesome pozzzt.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
challenge week, um, three?
breakfast: natural peanut butter on a white english muffin, few slices honeydew melon
snack:
lunch: tuna sandwich w cheese
snack: pumpkin&chocolate muffin (2.5g fat), a few crackers
dinner: 1.5-2c whole wheat pasta w/ spinach/cheese sauce, sprinkle parmesan
snack: 100-cal ice cream sandwich
lotsa water due to d-word
no exercise due to step aerobics last 2 days in a row.
snack:
lunch: tuna sandwich w cheese
snack: pumpkin&chocolate muffin (2.5g fat), a few crackers
dinner: 1.5-2c whole wheat pasta w/ spinach/cheese sauce, sprinkle parmesan
snack: 100-cal ice cream sandwich
lotsa water due to d-word
no exercise due to step aerobics last 2 days in a row.
growing by the hoooooouuuerrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ger, geh, grr. stupid rbc. that's all i'm saying.
oh, plus, woop de doo for feeling faint re: dieting. yeeaaaah. poor heathersak. haha.
oh, plus, woop de doo for feeling faint re: dieting. yeeaaaah. poor heathersak. haha.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
wate challenge two.k8
let's start this mfka!
Challenge Daily Log
Name heather
Date wed jan 8 08
Meals (long day at work)
B: 2p flax multigrain bread w/ natural pb
S: 2 small low-fat oatmeal muffins with raisins, a banana
L: large green salad w balsamic vinegar and olive oil, 1/2c cheese tortellini no
sauce
S: 1.5c green grapes, 1/2c cranberry trail mix, MCD HAMBURGER (23g fat plus who knows what else), fruit&yogurt parfait (2g fat)
D: 5 bite-sized chicken breast pieces shakenbaked, 1.5c stovetop chicken stuffing,
1c green peas
S:
Water (8 8oz servings) yup, peed like crazy
Exercise (4 days per week) ran down to starbucks from work, walked back up the
hill. ran up the staircase a few times (4 flights). jogged a block to my car.
later, ran up another hill to another starbucks (for my bro) and back down. had no
time for gym today :(
Challenge Daily Log
Name heather
Date wed jan 8 08
Meals (long day at work)
B: 2p flax multigrain bread w/ natural pb
S: 2 small low-fat oatmeal muffins with raisins, a banana
L: large green salad w balsamic vinegar and olive oil, 1/2c cheese tortellini no
sauce
S: 1.5c green grapes, 1/2c cranberry trail mix, MCD HAMBURGER (23g fat plus who knows what else), fruit&yogurt parfait (2g fat)
D: 5 bite-sized chicken breast pieces shakenbaked, 1.5c stovetop chicken stuffing,
1c green peas
S:
Water (8 8oz servings) yup, peed like crazy
Exercise (4 days per week) ran down to starbucks from work, walked back up the
hill. ran up the staircase a few times (4 flights). jogged a block to my car.
later, ran up another hill to another starbucks (for my bro) and back down. had no
time for gym today :(
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
yaaaaawn
am feeling mindful, minding feelful. sorry bout that.
am really just winding down from 5 days off, one day on, 5 days off. time flew far too quickly. i blame it on alcohol :p
gearing up for the return of 'workheather', sometime around 7am, wednesday 2 january 2008. that is the first time i've typed the year, this year.
today is 1 january 2008. 01.01.2008
i love it.
anyway, dad made ham soups, and i baked that hilarious cake. bathed drew, put him to bed by 8:30. then tried some cake. and am sipping carolan's, while running out of websites to while away my remaining OffTime.
it's okay, I'm looking forward to an enlivened routine, certainly. marty and i had a nice conversation about it on the drive home from bryan's last night.
him: going to do more activities / meaningful time with drew.
me: take better care of my family (that's encompassing).
the state of my kitchen counters would say otherwise, but the food in my fridge shows i'm on the mark, so far.
'd like to go to the gym tomorrow. may depend how missy i am for drew. laying next to him as he was falling asleep, i asked myself how i could possibly miss any more time with him -- if these two weeks flew by so fast... well, you can see where i'm headed with that line of thought. no reason to get pain'd up over it tonight. besides, our plan remains in place: work, marry, inseminate, gestate, stay home, raise and save while applying for PDP. yep, neat little package, that.
alright. off to jot items down in my new, sexy 2008 (love it!) planner.
~h
am really just winding down from 5 days off, one day on, 5 days off. time flew far too quickly. i blame it on alcohol :p
gearing up for the return of 'workheather', sometime around 7am, wednesday 2 january 2008. that is the first time i've typed the year, this year.
today is 1 january 2008. 01.01.2008
i love it.
anyway, dad made ham soups, and i baked that hilarious cake. bathed drew, put him to bed by 8:30. then tried some cake. and am sipping carolan's, while running out of websites to while away my remaining OffTime.
it's okay, I'm looking forward to an enlivened routine, certainly. marty and i had a nice conversation about it on the drive home from bryan's last night.
him: going to do more activities / meaningful time with drew.
me: take better care of my family (that's encompassing).
the state of my kitchen counters would say otherwise, but the food in my fridge shows i'm on the mark, so far.
'd like to go to the gym tomorrow. may depend how missy i am for drew. laying next to him as he was falling asleep, i asked myself how i could possibly miss any more time with him -- if these two weeks flew by so fast... well, you can see where i'm headed with that line of thought. no reason to get pain'd up over it tonight. besides, our plan remains in place: work, marry, inseminate, gestate, stay home, raise and save while applying for PDP. yep, neat little package, that.
alright. off to jot items down in my new, sexy 2008 (love it!) planner.
~h
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