explaining

Yesterday was a snow day, so I was home. Marty made it in to work, so it was just Drew and I (and periods of Joe). Well, after the weekend, I spent the day yesterday cleaning, baking, organizing, and playing with Drew. I ran out of ideas. Then I put him to bed. Then I was bored, and had read through ALL of BBC (well..) and caught up on ALL of FB. All my regular blogs were read.
So I clicked on some new ones (vie Bloggies nominations). Ooh, Canadian content! Ooh, a smart mommy blogger in a small town! Ooh, what's this link on the left... And so I read her sad story. And began crying. And cried. And cried. And went up to bed. And cried. And cried. And stole Drew out of his room, brought him into bed with me, and cried. And cried (while he slept). And cried. And caught my breath. And cried some more. Caught my breath again. And cried more.
At some point, I must have fallen asleep =p I was surprised to see Marty in bed with us this morning, though (I was zonked!).
Anyway. I am certainly no worse for having read that sad story, in fact, I am likely better (opener-minded) as a result.
But I still want to go lay down in my car and sleep. My face requests it!

breathe, breathe, breathe

grinding my teeth
today: 18 messages
non-stop phonecalls
charts not up to date
no eyeshadow (puffy post-cry eyelids) (see other post)
coworkers barging in / asking questions
needy pts with sense of entitlement

it feels so much like a tuesday and i am THIS CLOSE to screaming!!!

and/or quitting, putting school plans on hold until my kid(s) is/are in school, and just staying home, dealing with the particular stresses of housekeeping and family-rearing (which are mighty in their own regard, of course).

does not help! that i read a mom's story last night that led to me snatching Drew out of his room so i could bawl next to him (while he slept) in bed. i know 1/2ativan is contributing to this sleepiness but care not i. my car is STILL appealing to lay in, being parked down under with the cozy and the dark and (almost) warm.

breathe in... ... and out. perhaps i can begin to calm now.
let us hope those are not famous last words.

avoiding FF for the time being...

it's like teasing. ?

i can hear music.. and another family!!... on the baby monitor??!
maybe it's joe and his 'house'.

tell me about your day, oh, well, i wasn't superstastic on the 'challenge' today. no gym. not enuf h2ozzy. nutella for breaky. too much pazzzta for lonche. big fat bowl of big fat granola for 'after-dinner'.

but, for lack of trying. that's certainly something to say. work tomorrow, hm, do something after. you're welcome for this awesome pozzzt.

challenge week, um, three?

breakfast: natural peanut butter on a white english muffin, few slices honeydew melon

snack:

lunch: tuna sandwich w cheese

snack: pumpkin&chocolate muffin (2.5g fat), a few crackers

dinner: 1.5-2c whole wheat pasta w/ spinach/cheese sauce, sprinkle parmesan

snack: 100-cal ice cream sandwich

lotsa water due to d-word

no exercise due to step aerobics last 2 days in a row.

growing by the hoooooouuuerrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ger, geh, grr. stupid rbc. that's all i'm saying.
oh, plus, woop de doo for feeling faint re: dieting. yeeaaaah. poor heathersak. haha.

wate challenge two.k8

let's start this mfka!

Challenge Daily Log

Name heather

Date wed jan 8 08

Meals (long day at work)

B: 2p flax multigrain bread w/ natural pb

S: 2 small low-fat oatmeal muffins with raisins, a banana

L: large green salad w balsamic vinegar and olive oil, 1/2c cheese tortellini no

sauce

S: 1.5c green grapes, 1/2c cranberry trail mix, MCD HAMBURGER (23g fat plus who knows what else), fruit&yogurt parfait (2g fat)

D: 5 bite-sized chicken breast pieces shakenbaked, 1.5c stovetop chicken stuffing,

1c green peas

S:

Water (8 8oz servings) yup, peed like crazy



Exercise (4 days per week) ran down to starbucks from work, walked back up the

hill. ran up the staircase a few times (4 flights). jogged a block to my car.

later, ran up another hill to another starbucks (for my bro) and back down. had no

time for gym today :(

yaaaaawn

am feeling mindful, minding feelful. sorry bout that.

am really just winding down from 5 days off, one day on, 5 days off. time flew far too quickly. i blame it on alcohol :p
gearing up for the return of 'workheather', sometime around 7am, wednesday 2 january 2008. that is the first time i've typed the year, this year.

today is 1 january 2008. 01.01.2008
i love it.

anyway, dad made ham soups, and i baked that hilarious cake. bathed drew, put him to bed by 8:30. then tried some cake. and am sipping carolan's, while running out of websites to while away my remaining OffTime.

it's okay, I'm looking forward to an enlivened routine, certainly. marty and i had a nice conversation about it on the drive home from bryan's last night.
him: going to do more activities / meaningful time with drew.
me: take better care of my family (that's encompassing).

the state of my kitchen counters would say otherwise, but the food in my fridge shows i'm on the mark, so far.

'd like to go to the gym tomorrow. may depend how missy i am for drew. laying next to him as he was falling asleep, i asked myself how i could possibly miss any more time with him -- if these two weeks flew by so fast... well, you can see where i'm headed with that line of thought. no reason to get pain'd up over it tonight. besides, our plan remains in place: work, marry, inseminate, gestate, stay home, raise and save while applying for PDP. yep, neat little package, that.

alright. off to jot items down in my new, sexy 2008 (love it!) planner.
~h