having to sit here, parenting my children, instead of scrubbing walls and cramming miscellanei in bins & boxes, is making me panicky. also, the dust and cobwebs - seems i'm growing less tolerant of them as i age.
so, i panic, surrounded by boxes and facing much-reduced floor space with which to parent said children. so i force myself to breathe deeply. but then i'm all too mindful of the dust and crap i'm breathing in, and i cease breathing, and panic more.
it'll all be over soon. how's that for POSITIVITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
A bit later
I managed to!
- put Drew to bed in a nongrumpy (mostly) way
- made applesauce (for whole family)
- pureed some carrots for Leiler
- Marty may run Robee after he's done playing piano
Now I'm watching Jon Stewart (featuring Bill Gates! whom I recently began to follow on Tvittar).
I may fall over. More on that, later. ._.
- put Drew to bed in a nongrumpy (mostly) way
- made applesauce (for whole family)
- pureed some carrots for Leiler
- Marty may run Robee after he's done playing piano
Now I'm watching Jon Stewart (featuring Bill Gates! whom I recently began to follow on Tvittar).
I may fall over. More on that, later. ._.
alright
just to let you (?) know, things are okay. not great, but not down to fall2009-levels. it's just hard to pull my head out of my own ass to comment on things other than why my bones hurt, what the hell does a slightly elevated smooth muscle antibody mean, depression, anxiety, moving, fuck, shit, shit.
how about two things:
1. i've been surprised to see i haven't actually gained any weight since the fall. the only reason i'm not currently 210lbs is because i'm still breastfeeding.
2. increased lucidity is both welcome and frightening, at the same time.
how about two things:
1. i've been surprised to see i haven't actually gained any weight since the fall. the only reason i'm not currently 210lbs is because i'm still breastfeeding.
2. increased lucidity is both welcome and frightening, at the same time.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
An up day
Or, Maybe It's The Unopened Sleep Meds In My Possession!
Marty is finishing up a three-day weekend. And on the third day, we finally got some packing done. One tiny box; one old medium old potato box; and half of one "house" (according to Drew)-sized box. All from our bedroom. And it barely looks like we touched it... *insert manga crying gif here*
Marty did measure ... like, everything, though. And I did go grocery shopping ($223 after coupons - please let the record show I wasn't particularly passionate about
[new blog title: Not Particularly Passionate]
qualifying for the free $25 gift card with $250 spent, this time. Probably had something to do with the shopping trip being less than 24 hours after we figured we only had $60 for groceries until next week (alack, we must let the CCS payment slide, for now). I enjoyed the trip, especially paying only $4.83 for three prescriptions, including the new one (Zopiclone) Dr. Chen prescribed me yesterday. Yay for finally getting our health insurance billing fixed! We sign forms! We mail them in! There ain't nothing we can't do!!
When I returned home from the store, Marty had run Robie (our Roomba), and the piano (& corresponding end tables) had been moved so that we actually had a living room again. I love me some pianie, but I felt kind of at a loss there for two days, not having much room to loll around on the floor with my children. I pretty much got right to work in the kitchen, cleaning out the pantry of ingredients for granola a la Jamie UhwhatsisfaceCookGuy Ohyeah Oliver. That bumped up against preptime for dinner, so I ended up spending a grand amount of time in the kitchen.
Facebook status update: Wish I had a SLAP-CHOP(tm). Dinner prep would have likely been cut by at least half an hour, had I not needed to chop onions into tiny stupid bits.
The granola turned out (afaict) grand - will test with cold milk (as JO suggests ["is brilliant"]) in the morning. And the shepherd's pie, from allrecipes.com, was delicious! Thanks to Celia, for answering my call for help while I was in the produce aisle; yam mixed with
[Seinfeld interruption: Mr. Peterson: "Damnit, Elaine, that's not him, it's the yam-yam talking" (sic) (right? do i use 'sic' in this instance, for a paraphrase?)]
mashed potato made a delicious and more nutritious topping.
And then we watched hockey (6-2 Canucks over Penguins, yeehaah), we put Leila to bed, Marty bathed Drew, and I cleaned the kitchen (oh gross counter - I'll post a pic someday, after we move, so the yuckyness isn't so fresh and disturbingly close to me), and now alls that's left to do is de-Drew the living room and go to bed. 'Cept Leila just began moaning. Oh, and crying now. Gotta go.
Marty is finishing up a three-day weekend. And on the third day, we finally got some packing done. One tiny box; one old medium old potato box; and half of one "house" (according to Drew)-sized box. All from our bedroom. And it barely looks like we touched it... *insert manga crying gif here*
Marty did measure ... like, everything, though. And I did go grocery shopping ($223 after coupons - please let the record show I wasn't particularly passionate about
[new blog title: Not Particularly Passionate]
qualifying for the free $25 gift card with $250 spent, this time. Probably had something to do with the shopping trip being less than 24 hours after we figured we only had $60 for groceries until next week (alack, we must let the CCS payment slide, for now). I enjoyed the trip, especially paying only $4.83 for three prescriptions, including the new one (Zopiclone) Dr. Chen prescribed me yesterday. Yay for finally getting our health insurance billing fixed! We sign forms! We mail them in! There ain't nothing we can't do!!
When I returned home from the store, Marty had run Robie (our Roomba), and the piano (& corresponding end tables) had been moved so that we actually had a living room again. I love me some pianie, but I felt kind of at a loss there for two days, not having much room to loll around on the floor with my children. I pretty much got right to work in the kitchen, cleaning out the pantry of ingredients for granola a la Jamie UhwhatsisfaceCookGuy Ohyeah Oliver. That bumped up against preptime for dinner, so I ended up spending a grand amount of time in the kitchen.
Facebook status update: Wish I had a SLAP-CHOP(tm). Dinner prep would have likely been cut by at least half an hour, had I not needed to chop onions into tiny stupid bits.
The granola turned out (afaict) grand - will test with cold milk (as JO suggests ["is brilliant"]) in the morning. And the shepherd's pie, from allrecipes.com, was delicious! Thanks to Celia, for answering my call for help while I was in the produce aisle; yam mixed with
[Seinfeld interruption: Mr. Peterson: "Damnit, Elaine, that's not him, it's the yam-yam talking" (sic) (right? do i use 'sic' in this instance, for a paraphrase?)]
mashed potato made a delicious and more nutritious topping.
And then we watched hockey (6-2 Canucks over Penguins, yeehaah), we put Leila to bed, Marty bathed Drew, and I cleaned the kitchen (oh gross counter - I'll post a pic someday, after we move, so the yuckyness isn't so fresh and disturbingly close to me), and now alls that's left to do is de-Drew the living room and go to bed. 'Cept Leila just began moaning. Oh, and crying now. Gotta go.
Monday, January 4, 2010
happy new year
2010 is here, and with it, a promise to cease the self-absorption with and destruction of myself. i had to get pretty low, pretty stupid, to reach the point of change where i bounce back up, but what's done is done, and we're moving forward.
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