feeling bad

sorry for myself, really

felt a comment on my poor memory and/or poor planning skills, as i still haven't invited our neighbours over for a meal. it's not that i don't want to, and believe me, i feel awful that i still haven't done it. but our house is way too messy for company, and it's even worse this morning because i haven't done enough and the morning mess as i slept some more.

and then there's the mission groups, and how, where did i quote this? how what comes out of my mouth sounds nothing like what is in my mind or heart. it sounds awkward and stunted and ineloquent. when we had a little discussion time in church this morning and when i meant to talk about how i find little moments throughout the day to reflect and worship, it came out sounding like i was complaining about my kids interrupting "me time". it'd be one thing if i was just being so around marty, but this was with two other members of our congregation. and no matter how much i babbled, i feel like i wasn't able to save any face.

anyway about the mission groups, i asked, and from what i gathered there's a pre-group thing or something, and i'll get a document, but 'we're baptists' and no further information about that even though i want some (why can't i just ask? see how disappointed i am in myself!) and that led into a number of mentions about our meal together.

so here i am, feeling: awkward, sorry for myself, disappointed in myself, left behind, and all of this is upon my usual reflective mood after church (which, on its own, i'm not unsatisfied with).



note: photo circle was cancelled so i think it's a good opportunity for me to escape escape escape with that starbucks card bev gave me.