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it's just too dang easy. that's why you get the crap of the crop, instead of da creme o da crop.
copyright, 2010, heather laurabushious hraaahahaxel.

sitting upstairs after the kids 'r in bed, and at first was 'mister bright side' in my head because it was on the radio and i, for some reason, listened to it, but then it was 'stupid girl' by, um, garbage, and, yeah, it felt like... i was singing to myself.

i can't put this all blame on him, that's just using evasive techniquios. problem is, i'd have to talk to a professional about this. no, under higher magnification, problem IS i'd have to SAY THE WORDS OUT LOUD and i've never done that before never done that before
shudder at that very thought.

how do you like, describe in minute (ugh) detail your problem when the problem you have disgusts you? like, even USING YOUR MOUTH TO SAY THE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE IT? verbs, adjectives, nouns... ugh, all disgusting, all make my throat close up in a cat-cough kinda way. choking on dust. MY OWN DUST.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW is not even an ew-enough word to describe the feeling.

et puis, just like K'NAAN, i'll have to go back, i'll have to go back, i'll have to go...
How Long Has This Been Going On, Heather?
SINCE I WAS A CHILD
Why, Heather?
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FUCKOFF I DON'T KNOW

When Did You First Believe You Weren't Like, You Know?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKOFF NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS crap i know you're just trying to help me, but you are job is that to help people, so you probably get this a lot! FUCKOFF

DYA THINK THEY'RE RELATED HEATHER?
DYA FUCKIN THINK, THERAPING PERSON???????????????????????????????????

and if so
SO FUCKING WHAT

here's what i want:
- a month long (at least) stay in a tropical spa-like retreat for disgusting fuckwads like me (um, free of course)
- AWESOME MEDICATIONS that make me feel like SUPERME and ACTUALLY REALLY SRSLY TAKE MY ANXIETY AWAY BUT MAYBE NOT MY MEMORY MK THAT'S STILL A LITTLE DISuhhhhh SCARY MK
- this to NOT leak out to the gen. pub. because it's GROSS and i have such little face i feel, if i lose any more i'll just not exist in my friends' minds.
- righteous, solid, heartfelt support by qualified CBT/etc persons that goes on for the rest of my life. but when i'm doing that, it has to feel like i'm DOING SOMETHING AWESOMEFUN like canoeing
- a rewrite of the bible that doesn't consider me GOING TO FUCKING HELL for being WHO I AM
- oh, and while we're at it: WORLD PEACE, PLEASE.


so there we go. concise, precise, isn't that nice.