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Earliest or history of surrogacy

Weewwwe

Back at wrk today , Fe tho, gotta restart somewhere I guess :)

You can't just leave me like this

I'm in a tight spot

Doh

I fell

Nemesis

Seems my body hates Raisin Bran, a lot.

After a long week

And 2 full days of min communication. I am feeling flat, like a wet leaf run over by cars.

none of it

none of grandma's money left.

it's all gone. and i asked m. and it's not coming back. any of it.

no van.
no investment in future (asap) schooling for me.

none.

it's all gone, and it's not coming back, and so the hope i've had for the past year is gone.

gone.

and it isn't coming back, either.



he just said 'fuck you' and slammed the door.
'remember when my mom died? remember when i got money from my dad, and i gave it all to you, to pay for your school?'
well, honestly, no, i don't remember that. i remember my parents saving my ass in my final semester of SFU with my mom's severance money.

it isn't to say what he's talking about didn't happen, it's just that i don't remember it.
probably because i'm an asshole who abuses prescription drugs and as a result, has shit memory.


and now he's gone. he drove off, without his wallet.
and here i sit, gobsmacked.





why am i such a colossal fuckup. i don't deserve to drive a van.
i don't deserve to go back to school.

i don't deserve to be happy, or fulfilled, to contribute my talents to the world.

Board meeting

Right to appeal
Heard as right to a P.L.

First taste of "freedom"!

Both kids in school! L first day of preschool! So what do I choose to do with my hour & a half? Have a shower & drink some metamucil, because I haven't pooped in a week.

Shopping list

Milk, panty liners, broom, L sweater, bead set, cleaning wipes, mushroom soup,

U'know, just fyi

MY FOOT IS STILL BROKEN.

Recirculating pooey air

I just wanted to say "pooey".

I'm14andthisiswtf

Y the cold sweats?

Post melt-down fuckup yesterday

Pc reg morn today. Wish me luck :(

It's 3:36am?!

Gapefruit

Daaaaahhhh

First graveyard shift...

Feeling: pissy

Fucking bleeding a week before I'm supposed to? Because of what, STRESS? I'M STRESSED BECAUSE I'M ON 'VACATION'???

Soup run Monday

flat beef

Heh

Wet pork

Heh heh

Heh

Not sure,y funny except 4:57am

Mexicanlasagna

Augh

My phone smells like ali

Immaturity leads to others' poor health bro

Basically told him to stop acting like a child and now is sulking away, so I doubt childcare will happen for gym appt today. Hope kids r ok w that. Fffff.

Another one

Brown vegetable

Amusings in pc

Extra classic
Secret loaf

:(

I've been surprised every time

That Rod Stewart soothes me. Tuwanek was when I first noticed. And of course, here at work. This morning especially because my gut ailment is draining me of positive energy.

Sigh. The way out is through, though, ain't it.

Yried

:/

Laterly

Maybe it's because I've been reaching 40 hrs, or maybe because my training is exhausting me, I haven't been feeling the same zing about work as I had been up to a few weeks ago.

Or perhaps, as I know now that management isn't immediately planning to post T's position now that she's officially leaving in a few days, that I don't feel that same verve, that driving passion, I once held for my work.

Who knows. Time may tell. Et cetera.

off work

And feeling BLAUUURGGHHHH

HOW DO I LOOK

HEALTHY RIGHT

Bring out the chocolate

Day one of Actually Quitting This Time. Morning felt awesome, if not apprehensive. Afternoon, FUCK YOU AND THE FUCK HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. FUCK.

How much gum to OD? huhurrhurrhurr

First screamy fit of the day

9:30am.

Tryina photo

Yea ya ya #fosterthepeople

I think this is the right blog

2 or so shiraz
Kill bill vol 2
Work at 645am tmrw

Fuckin rights@

Perspective, bro

I stand for more than this.

Orange

>:(

What? I have a hobby.

It's called going to bed when I could be doing any of the other things I could be doing. Like hobbying. Or cleaning. Or bettering myself.

Un jour..

usako.ca - rubbing dumb shit into my sclera since 1981

Obvious enough?

Dreams where I am literally moving memories (items) out of my old houses.

Is it like
rem-therapy?

Guilt & coping

I spent my whole life thinking smokers were bad people.

Fuck i miss ativan

2 feels fucking goooooood

But I AM being selfish

The guilt is killing me

Help

I just need someone (you) to tell me it's okay

That this is okay,
for now,
to get through

I have really enjoyed
needed
these little moments of me-time
recharging
peaceful, reflection

please

i hate leaving one last beer

what's the point?