After a long week

And 2 full days of min communication. I am feeling flat, like a wet leaf run over by cars.

none of it

none of grandma's money left.

it's all gone. and i asked m. and it's not coming back. any of it.

no van.
no investment in future (asap) schooling for me.

none.

it's all gone, and it's not coming back, and so the hope i've had for the past year is gone.

gone.

and it isn't coming back, either.



he just said 'fuck you' and slammed the door.
'remember when my mom died? remember when i got money from my dad, and i gave it all to you, to pay for your school?'
well, honestly, no, i don't remember that. i remember my parents saving my ass in my final semester of SFU with my mom's severance money.

it isn't to say what he's talking about didn't happen, it's just that i don't remember it.
probably because i'm an asshole who abuses prescription drugs and as a result, has shit memory.


and now he's gone. he drove off, without his wallet.
and here i sit, gobsmacked.





why am i such a colossal fuckup. i don't deserve to drive a van.
i don't deserve to go back to school.

i don't deserve to be happy, or fulfilled, to contribute my talents to the world.

Board meeting

Right to appeal
Heard as right to a P.L.