What I want New Year's Eve.

Ideal: to kiss you at midnight tomorrow, outside, somewhere where we could watch the Aurora Borealis. 

But that ain't happening. 

black holes and revelations

if i, at 15, met my 34-year-old self, would i be disgusted?

does it matter?





---

the little button in the corner that says "Complain to Blogger" makes me feel like laughing

----



ahha poking my own OCD

I've got thick skin and an elastic heart

I thought, on the toilet, that my underwear must be on backward! Of course!

They weren't. 

Mad that I'm sad

But I hope he changes his mind. Realizes he misses me. That life is NOW. And reaches out to me. 

Or that after awhile, he does want me. 

Or... 

Fuck, I don't have anything. 

Feeling sad

Maybe it's postconcert blues or maybe it's the whole separation and being alone for the first time in my life but I feel sad I'm at work right now alone thankfully for another hour and

Had a good sobering kind of talk with Randy last night after the concert and I guess I'm a little shocked at how affected he is and was emotionally by our previous disastrous I guess encounter

He has to work through some of these guilt feelings and I think I understand what I'm looking for though is what I'm looking for today is comfort so realistically I don't have A source of that anymore so that's hitting me pretty hard today got to be strong on my own but damn man shits hard